Adventure dreams
May. 11th, 2019 06:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
infryqYesterday we went to the military salute for grandad at Tahoma National
Cemetery. It got to me a bit. We were super early, and spent the
intervening time surveying the plaque inscriptions for religious symbol and
terms of endearment. (we saw mostly Christian, a handful Jewish, one
Muslim, one Wiccan, one atheist)
When it was our turn to drive in procession to our assigned shelter, the
car wouldn’t start. The attendant recommended calling AAA, said they’d deal
with them when they arrived, and we packed into other vehicles. The
services were lovely. The chaplain is very good at his job. Grandma ran out
of hands to hold all the remembrances and ephemera she was given. There was
some confusion over which servicemen should be there, since grandad flew in
the US Army Air Corps in WWII, which later became the Air Force, so they
had both Army and AF folks there just in case and we had to stop at admin
on the way out to fix the paperwork.
Of course AAA had been and gone without actually fixing anything since
they couldn’t get a signature from the cardholder. A second call said
they’d be up to 75 minutes out. Eventually we got tired of waiting and had
my cousin D see if he could jump the car. It worked, and we noodled our way
to southcenter for lunch. P accompanied D for less absurdity. D is doing a
lot better than the last time I saw him. It’s nice.
Uncle J was a mess. He did not come to lunch; his wife D had fallen that
morning and was in the ER. It turned out fine (nothing broken, just an
accident) but it was obviously an overwhelming day for him.
Lunch was Olive Garden, which worked surprisingly fine since they have a
build-a-pasta now. I went for normal person angel hair because (1) there’s
only so much gf penne one can stand, and (2) I’m on vacation, however
sideways it may be. It was fine. Restaurant, so portion control was a
challenge, and the ride back was a bit uncomfortable, but only just over
the detectability threshold so fine. P and dad were exhausted so I rode to
the hotel with them so they could nap and I could change and recharge a
touch. Mom stayed with grandma at the apartment. When I was done I walked
back up the hill to meet them in a multipurpose room for arts and crafts,
namely assembling photo garlands for the Saturday reception. Cousins J and
D (who I probably haven’t seen in 20 years) were there helping too. Uncle D
was there for moral support I guess? for aunt K, who was putting some of
the smaller photos into an album. I wish uncle D would let other people
enjoy things. Would let things that don’t matter to him, matter to other
people, especially when folks are grieving. I tried to ignore a
conversation on how he didn’t want to go to high tea because it’s only for
women (mom was good at defusing that one, it’s okay to say no) and one on
how some photo decision or other didn’t matter, when it clearly matters to
all the other people in the room or else we all wouldn’t have been there.
Just. Stop. Thankfully he didn’t get any worse than that.
My brother T arrived as we were finishing up; he’d just driven down from
Bellingham. We all trooped up to see gma’s apartment and chat for an hour
or so, then dispersed for dinner.
Mom, dad, T, P, and I went to a vegetarian place called Chaco Canyon Cafe,
which has a build a grain bowl option, perfect for me. Everyone else seemed
to enjoy their stuff too. Will probably go back. Might bring a thankyou
card because the staff was super helpful in finding a sauce that would work
for me.
Afterwards it was getting on 8pm (higher latitude, later sunset between
spring and fall equinox) so we did the crossword and then I ran the bedtime
routine. Read some more of the shirtmaking book.
Exhausting day. I was good about taking moments alone to recombobulate and
recharge. Just being with people seems to be important.
Cemetery. It got to me a bit. We were super early, and spent the
intervening time surveying the plaque inscriptions for religious symbol and
terms of endearment. (we saw mostly Christian, a handful Jewish, one
Muslim, one Wiccan, one atheist)
When it was our turn to drive in procession to our assigned shelter, the
car wouldn’t start. The attendant recommended calling AAA, said they’d deal
with them when they arrived, and we packed into other vehicles. The
services were lovely. The chaplain is very good at his job. Grandma ran out
of hands to hold all the remembrances and ephemera she was given. There was
some confusion over which servicemen should be there, since grandad flew in
the US Army Air Corps in WWII, which later became the Air Force, so they
had both Army and AF folks there just in case and we had to stop at admin
on the way out to fix the paperwork.
Of course AAA had been and gone without actually fixing anything since
they couldn’t get a signature from the cardholder. A second call said
they’d be up to 75 minutes out. Eventually we got tired of waiting and had
my cousin D see if he could jump the car. It worked, and we noodled our way
to southcenter for lunch. P accompanied D for less absurdity. D is doing a
lot better than the last time I saw him. It’s nice.
Uncle J was a mess. He did not come to lunch; his wife D had fallen that
morning and was in the ER. It turned out fine (nothing broken, just an
accident) but it was obviously an overwhelming day for him.
Lunch was Olive Garden, which worked surprisingly fine since they have a
build-a-pasta now. I went for normal person angel hair because (1) there’s
only so much gf penne one can stand, and (2) I’m on vacation, however
sideways it may be. It was fine. Restaurant, so portion control was a
challenge, and the ride back was a bit uncomfortable, but only just over
the detectability threshold so fine. P and dad were exhausted so I rode to
the hotel with them so they could nap and I could change and recharge a
touch. Mom stayed with grandma at the apartment. When I was done I walked
back up the hill to meet them in a multipurpose room for arts and crafts,
namely assembling photo garlands for the Saturday reception. Cousins J and
D (who I probably haven’t seen in 20 years) were there helping too. Uncle D
was there for moral support I guess? for aunt K, who was putting some of
the smaller photos into an album. I wish uncle D would let other people
enjoy things. Would let things that don’t matter to him, matter to other
people, especially when folks are grieving. I tried to ignore a
conversation on how he didn’t want to go to high tea because it’s only for
women (mom was good at defusing that one, it’s okay to say no) and one on
how some photo decision or other didn’t matter, when it clearly matters to
all the other people in the room or else we all wouldn’t have been there.
Just. Stop. Thankfully he didn’t get any worse than that.
My brother T arrived as we were finishing up; he’d just driven down from
Bellingham. We all trooped up to see gma’s apartment and chat for an hour
or so, then dispersed for dinner.
Mom, dad, T, P, and I went to a vegetarian place called Chaco Canyon Cafe,
which has a build a grain bowl option, perfect for me. Everyone else seemed
to enjoy their stuff too. Will probably go back. Might bring a thankyou
card because the staff was super helpful in finding a sauce that would work
for me.
Afterwards it was getting on 8pm (higher latitude, later sunset between
spring and fall equinox) so we did the crossword and then I ran the bedtime
routine. Read some more of the shirtmaking book.
Exhausting day. I was good about taking moments alone to recombobulate and
recharge. Just being with people seems to be important.
