(no subject)

[infryq]

I am writing this on my brand-new 15" MacBook Pro. The journey to purchase it was epic, on the scale of what I hope technology purchases usually involve.

I suffer from, not bad credit, but insufficient credit. We were never able to figure out how to place a credit card in my name when I was in high school (even a department store card, which you should be able to get with a parent when you're 16), I did my undergrad on a full tuition and board scholarship, I lived on-campus during summers, and sublet my first summer after graduating. I had one utility bill in my name in my first shared apartment in Pittsburgh, no utility bills at my second apartment, and was unpleasantly surprised at my third (finally all by myself!) when the power was shut off after the previous tenant had not, as she claimed, transferred the account to my name. The credit check for the transfer didn't go through, and I ended up without power for two weeks while paperwork went back and forth, ending with a large and oddly notarized deposit.

I have money. Unlike most twenty-somethings I know, my favorite things to do don't cost a thing. I don't go to bars or clubs, and rarely eat at restaurants. I like making my own stuff. I don't have a car. I don't like buying a lot of clothes or shoes because I usually end up never wearing them. I leave cheaply. I hate the idea of debt and payment plans and if I can't pay cash for something I usually find a way to do without it.
I have one credit card. It has a pretty low limit on it -- i.e. not enough to purchase a laptop. So my journey towards laptop purchase went like this:

1. I want a laptop.
   
2. Apple seems to brag about how easy they make credit card transactions, but I can't buy a laptop with my credit card. I don't think my debit cards will let me do it, either; Citizens kicked back a $400 lenses/frames purchase a month ago, and my new credit union account has a sub-laptop-level limit.
   
3. But I have checks!
   
4. But they don't have my current address on them. In fact, that address is at least two apartments old.
   
5. And the address they have on them doesn't match any ID card I have.
   
6. And I've been meaning to juggle around my accounts anyway, so I open a shiny new checking/savings account with the credit union, and all that entails -- waiting for checks to arrive, waiting for debit cards to arrive, shifting around direct deposit, 'n'at.
   
7. I went to the Apple store and asked if they take checks; they will so long as the address is printed on them and matches your Driver's License.
   
8. D'oh. I still have my WA license. Somewhere I probably still have checks that have that address, but it's been almost ten years since BofA was my main bank account, and I'm pretty sure I cleared that sucker out during a tight month. But my WA license is set to expire in November and I've been meaning to transfer to PA anyway, so let's do it.
   
9. Okay, weekend field trip to the Forest Hills DOL. Turns out I need proof of address beyond any paperwork I have, but I can bring goob with me as human proof of address. I go home with a temporary card, and to be safe I wait until the real one comes in.
   
10. I go back to the Apple store! The dude talks me up to an i7 with the extra resolution, which I was thinking about anyhow, although the i5/i7 difference isn't *really* all that big. We put together the whole package with the student discount and the free iPod (nano, for the car). Then we go to use my shiny new checks.
    
11. My check is "denied" by their electronic service, TeleCheck.
    
12. They call. The Telecheck folks can't tell them what happened, but give them a reference number which *I* can use to call. The register expert lady says that I should talk to my bank. I give up for the day.
    
13. I go to my bank and tell my story. The lady there (she is awesome) says, "Man, that must've sucked. I would've been livid. Try this one," she says, printing up a cashier's check, "let's see them deny that." She also makes a copy of the TeleCheck documentation and says she'll call them to see what went wrong. Because, hey, it's a check. It should involve banks actually talking to each other, and if anybody had actually asked my bank, it would've been fine.
    
14. I go back to the Apple store with my magic document.
    
15. The greeter takes my information. "Oh! I remember you!" although I definitely didn't see this guy last time.
16. "You're the one with the check!" I've apparently made a splash with my ancient financial document. "I should have a rep available really soon, it's a light day. Where will you be?"
    
17. I go look at iPads.
    
18. The dude arrives, and also remembers me, and is also unfamiliar. I am (in)famous. He chats a little about the inconvenience of the TeleCheck system as takes a look at my magic document, and his eyes widen a bit, and he looks both dubious and apologetic and says he's pretty sure they can't process cashier's checks either but he'll check with a manager to be sure.
    
19. No dice, and he checked with *two* managers. All their finance stuff has to fit through their magical electronic system, which doesn't know what to do with a cashier's checks. He says the system has trouble with some business checks too, since the way those accounts work is they have zero balance until the check is cashed, at which point the exact amount to cover the check is transfered from savings -- but often not fast enough to satisfy TeleCheck. Wankers.
    
20. "But," he says, "sometimes you can get around the limits on your bank card by running the transaction as a credit card instead of a debit." We go back to the register.
    
21. The last dude didn't save my stuff for me, so the fresh guy has to fetch everything/have everything fetched and ring it up again. For some reason it comes out to $5 less than the day before, but after some cursory inquiry we shrug it off.
    
22. Because my other account is so shiny new, I haven't had to use the the debit card yet, and I have to dash down the street to activate it.
    
23. I come back to the Apple store. We try to run the card. No dice.
    
24. We run the Citizen's card. No dice.
    
25. We start figuring out math for how to split the purchase among multiple cards and/or transactions.
    
26. "I'd really love to take your money!" "I'd really love to give it to you!" we are both in mock distress.
    
27. goob jumps in at just the right moment, asking if he can throw his in without screwing up the student discount.
    
28. It is good! It is okay! Because goob has credit, and goob knows what to do with a piece of paper from me that means money, even if Apple can't quite handle it. I even asked whether Apple Retail could take the check, wait for the transaction to go through, and I could pick up my stuff after the funds had made their way over -- but no good. It hangs up at the "wait for the transaction to go through" step, because they don't have any other way to process these things except through the stupid TeleCheck system.
    
29. The person ringing up after me wants to use Traveler's Checks. I am validated in not being the most complicated person of the day!

...And I now have a laptop.

Next: finding enclosures for the old harddrives in the defunct tower, so I can access all my stuff. (The power supply croaked. It was a 2004 G5, which is not a bad age for a pc, and while I'm used to expecting more from Apple hardware, it was also PowerPC, which was giving me all sorts of annoying Java trouble. So, I'm letting it lie)

Comments

[opalnipotent.livejournal.com]

I think your story of buying a new laptop is awesome. :)

I also wanted to let you know, in case this ever came up for you again, that we bought both a brand new Macbook Pro and a brand new iMac this past spring, and had the same sort of issue with can't-use-debit-card-cause-it's-too-much stuff. I called the 800 number and purchased it via the phone with an electronic check, and that worked without any problem. No idea why, as the paper check didn't work in the store.

[cos]

So... what *did* happen at TeleCheck? Why'd they deny your check? Or is that still a mystery?

[jcreed.livejournal.com]

Oh wow that is a great story. I can just hear the thunder and lightning around "let's see them deny that!".

[infryq]

All I got from the 800 number and record number they gave me was an automated message something like, "it has nothing to do with what debts you have or whether your account balance can field the check. It is that your check does not meet our risk requirements" or some nonsense. I have to go back tomorrow to have the lady at the bank cancel/redirect the cashier's check anyhow, and maybe she was able to find something more substantial.

[infryq]

Excellent! I was just talking with somebody else about EFT types of numbers and wondered whether there was any way to make that work for them. Next time I will brave the phone. :)

[perspicuity.livejournal.com]

i would send a letter to steve jobs, directly, as he's prone to reading them, and he might "fix this"... and at least he might offer commentary :) be sure to publish if he answers!

and until recently, Apple couldn't or wouldn't take CASH either. nice, huh? in particular, a nice lady out West iirc, wanted to buy an iPad. she didn't have CC or a bank, but she had say $500 in her hands. no dice. after making the news, Apple GAVE her one :) sweet.

and you know what the ultimate solution is? write Steve, and say "you're store couldn't handle my purchase so i went to Best Buy, who could"... actually had to do that myself a few months back.

#

[tame-eep.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's even wackier than my predicament, which is that the only way to get my down payment into the correct account (without a trusted intermediary) involves a physical stack of cash. I suppose that's one reason most $100 bills circulate outside the US.

Would this be a bad time to mention that I have a spare 2004 G5 power supply that I need to get rid of?

[infryq]

I'm not 100% certain it's the power supply, just that pushing the power button has no effect and a bad power supply seems a likely culprit. (it could be a bad power button, for instance; that would be hilarious)

If I can get it working again, I know a few people who'd be interested in having the machine. Just not me :)

[bhudson.livejournal.com]

I have a similar issue here in Montreal: plenty of money, minimal credit limit and no way to increase it. Luckily, most vendors are all too happy to accept cash payment. It's just the government offices (and Apple, one supposes) that are bothersome.